The letter
by Sushibear144
Summary: Tomoe receives a letter from the late Akura-Ou giving him more information about the night Yukiji died.


**Hi Again! First off... thanks for reading!!! It's so gratifying to know someone else might actually take the time to look at a story you worked on. I'm still plugging away at my first story but I spent all night last night reading the later chapters in this series. After learning more about Akura-Ou's story arch, I just didn't feel satisfied. He was Tomoe's best friend for a century. I really wanted them to make peace with each other and mend that bond. The manga shows some mending, but i think Nanami would be pretty ticked with the guy. So I took a break from my first story to write this. It is a one shot that fits into the cannon and maybe offers some further resolution. Hope it's okay!!! I don't own these characters, and have no affiliation with Kamasama Kiss.**

It was a crisp winter morning but the sun was out. Nanami had decided to bring their child to the park. Tomoe, hoping to wrap a few Christmas gifts, had made an excuse to stay home. He had finished wrapping the gifts and had just sat down to enjoy a nice cup of tea, when he heard the doorbell. He opened the door to find a older gentleman wrapped in coat and scarf smiling up at him.

"May I help you?" Tomoe asked.

"Perhaps," the man said with a touch of embarrassment. "I'm not sure if I have found the right Tomoe. Did you know a man by the name Mori Kirihito?"

Tomoe shifted uncomfortably. The answer to that question was complicated. He really never knew Mori Hirohito, but he did know the demon that occupied his body during the final year of his life. "Yes?" Tomoe responded as if asking a question.

"Well than, I think this is for you." The man held out a letter addressed to 'Tomoe – Mikage Shrine'. "Mori was my son. I lost him a few years back. For a very long time, I couldn't bring myself to go through his things. I hope you will never know how hard it is to lose a child." The man paused to collect his thoughts and regain composure. "A close friend convinced me that it was time, so a few weeks back, I started sorting thorough his possessions. I ran across this letter and I was told by the people at the shrine that I might find you here."

Tomoe was taken aback. "Would you like to come in?" he asked.

The man smiled. "No no. Thank you for the offer, but no. I just wanted to stop by and deliver this. It gives me pleasure to know that I could fulfill one small errand for my son after all these years. Goodbye." The man quickly turned to go. If Tomoe had still been a yokai, he would have known that the man had quietly begun to cry.

Tomoe looked at the envelope. It was sealed and slightly colored with age. He held it for several minutes before returning to the couch and opening it:

Dear Tomoe,

I've started this letter a dozen times. Even if I manage to finish it, I don't know if I'll ever give it to you. I have spent centuries being angry at you for trying to destroy me, but being alone for centuries also gave me a lot of time to reflect.

You were my one true companion in life. The only other soul that could understand me. Your friendship meant more to me almost anything. To me, the only thing that was more important than your friendship was your safety. When you told me you were going to throw away everything and become human I knew I had to stop you. How could I let the one person I cared about become merely a shell of his former self? I was planning to kill Yukiji to protect you from your own foolishness. I was sure that she had put a curse on you and you were going to destroy yourself because of it.

Spending centuries by myself, I tried to see things from your perspective. We're very much alike you know. I do understand why it annoys you when I break your things. That has always been part of the fun in doing it. I have finally come to see that this human, in your confused mind, was probably a very important thing to you. Regardless of my motives, I did go there that day to end her. For this, I am sorry.

But I didn't actually have the chance to kill Yukiji. When I found her, she was acting erratically. She was holding a knife which I thought she intended to use to try to defend herself. You always did find the feisty ones interesting. She was crying and talking about losing her husband. Her grief was palpable. She also expressed remorse for having deceived you. She said she'd spent her entire life hunting yokai. At first, she didn't see you as any differently. She said she'd never met you until the night you rescued her and she went into labor. She knew that night that you were in love with someone else that bears a resemblance to her. Someone she said was dear to her. She allowed you to believe that she was your love because she needed your help.

After you helped her, she was overcome with regret. She was ashamed for having killed so many yokai in the past and for having deceived you. She was afraid how you would react if you knew the truth. She was even more afraid of hiding the truth from you. She didn't want to marry a man that belonged to her friend. In her remorse and grief, she took her own life. I just watched.

I wanted to kill her. She had told me that she was an imposter. She had used you…made a fool of you. But I wanted to give you a chance to exact your own revenge, so I held back. I didn't know she was planning on plunging the knife into herself. I didn't see it coming so I didn't try to stop her. Then you arrive and you assumed I had killed her.

You looked at me with so much hatred. You, who meant everything to me could suddenly grow so cold because you assumed I had killed a mere human? A human that would allow you to sacrifice all that makes you special? To be honest, I was hurt. I was mad at you. I let you believe what you wanted to believe. My pride was hurt. You placed a human girl you had known for only a year above your best friend, your brother, who had known you for a century. I thought you would realize your foolishness and come back to me and apologize. When you did, I would tell you what that woman had said and then, together, we could locate the correct human woman to be your play thing.

But you did something that surprised me. You helped rip my soul from my body and let me to suffer for all eternity as flames destroyed my flesh over and over and over. I thought that the pain, boredom, and loneliness had no end. I think the sense of betrayal was worse than anything else. Despite all of my anger and hurt, there were thoughts and memories that brought me comfort. These were my memories of the times we had spent together. Without these memories I do not know how I would have beenable to get through those times.

How do I reconcile the pain and anger I felt toward you with the occasional comfort and love I felt because of you? Maybe if this human kid, Kirihito hadn't shown up, I would never be asking you that question. But my suffering did end because of a trusting, naïve human. A human that offered me his body. So here I am, living as one of these insects. Asking myself, do I kill you or hug you? Do I tell you I am back?

So I write you this confession and throw it away, only to write it yet again. And everyday I realized with contempt that I was right all along… these humans are pathetic. This body is weak, these creatures act irrationally and without a sense of self preservation, their minds and movements are slow. But just like my feelings for you, the coin tumbles through the air, and lands on the other side and I am shocked to see these humans have a love, compassion and strength I can only envy.

On days like today, I can start to see how things between us went wrong. Maybe who ever the girl was that you had met, the one you thought was Yukiji, worried and cared for you just as mother has treated me while I have occupied this body. Maybe she willingly sacrificed herself for your benefit. I guess if that happened, I can now understand why you hated me on that day so long ago. If I had understood your hatred back then, I wouldn't have kept silent. I wouldn't have let your precious friendship slip through my fingers. I would have told you that Yukiji had killed herself and that she wasn't the woman you were in love with. We could have found your woman together and we could have stayed brothers. I am sorry I kept this secrete from you and that things turned out the way they did. I know my pride is in party to blame.

Maybe someday, our paths will cross again. If they do, I hope we will be able to laugh over a bottle of sake.

-AO


End file.
